The Bagina Monologues

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Well, despite my best intentions, Harry Potter’s cock is still my most viewed entry. If you cant beat ’em, join ’em…Actually, this post is not really a blatant attempt to get more readers by showing nude celebrities, but rather based on a discussion I had with my girlfriend last night over the holy trinity of gossip, Britney, Paris and Lindsay..What can be said about this multiple train wreck that hasn’t been said before? Probably nothing, but thats ok. I rarely read the text in gossip mags, i just skim the pictures and headlines, so I’ll be coming at it fresh.What I find truly fascinating is why these women would decide to make their lives a neverending soap opera. I’m sure in the short term it boosts their careers, and gets them into all the best clubs for nothing, but is that really sustainable? Then again, who gives a fuck about sustainabilty when you’re worth $150 million? I wouldn’t. The problem all these women face, apart from the obvious, is over exposure. People love watching celebrities, and finding out all they can about them. But celebrities are like a buffet, take too much and eventually you’ll get sick.BritneyBritney is an extremely intelligent woman. I honestly believe that. She has manipulated the media since she first burst onto the pop world. Her first image was the ultimate unobtainable sex object, a school girl. Now, that didnt actually do it for me, but i can understand that it did for alot of people. She compounded this image by saying she was a virgin, just long enough until the christina’s etc started stealing her spotlight. Then all of a sudden we kept hearing of all the “crazy sex parties” she was involved in.Since then, she has always maintained a push-pull control over her image. That is, one day she’s the successful signer, the next she’s drunk and getting married in vegas. Then she releases a hit single with Madonna, only to marry K-Fed a week later. This, in marketing, is the classic “push/pull”. One week you love them, next week you’re concerned about them. It doesn’t matter why, just as long as they evoke some kind of emotion in you. Continually.Brit’s been riding this push/pull cycle for years, but it seems only recently she met her mentor in this cycle. But more on that later.LindsayLindsay breaks my heart. I had never seen Lindsay until i grabbed a copy of Mean Girls on DVD just to complete a rent-one-get-one-free-deal at my local video store. And to be honest, i only grabbed mean girls because Lindsay looked amazing on the front cover.But Mean Girls was a great film, and Lindsay was fine in it. But Lindsay seems to be the worst of the 3. Where as Britneys high and lows seem manufactured to always keep her in the news, Lindsays seem like the real deal. Who knows, maybe Lindsay is such an amazing actor that her downward spiral is all a clever trick, but even then, it cantbe doing her well.ParisAnd then there’s Paris. The true media whore who is famous for only being famous. In her short time on the gossip radar she has behaved just as badly as Lindsay and Britney, but her actions never seem to stick. I had assumed that she’d disappear long before the others, but my girlfriend disagreed, and i realise now she is right.Paris, despite being an empty vessel of a celebrity, is actually the most media savvy. While Britney and Lindsay fight over the the rights to be on the cover of Gossip Rags, Paris appears there naturally.They all practice the push/pull method, but only Paris understands the over exposure syndrome. Also, Paris, despite being famous for only being famous, is setting the trend for Britney and Lindsay to follow.I know i promised a sleazy post featuring upskirts, and i promise it’s coming, but i think I’ll leave this post here… Sorry.

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