Bangkok Dangerous: Review

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Two directors remaking their own film for a foreign audience? Yeah winner. Nic Cage is the next Steven Seagal; an aging action star with a fetish for Asian culture and eastern philosophy making terrible films, starring himself.So Nic is Joe – a hitman who flies to Bangkok with 4 targets to assassinate for a local gangster. Upon arriving he hires a street urchin named Kong to run errands, the intention being to dispose of Kong when Joe is finished with the killing. In a stunning twist Kong discovers Joe’s real reason for being in Thailand, and rather than turning him in asks to be trained as an assassin. Joe takes Kong under his wing and meets a local deaf-mute woman who strangely enough becomes his love interest, melting his hardened heart.What you end up with is a really tedious and boring film: Cage simply can’t act his way out of a paper bag, and at 99 minutes the film feels like half could have been removed without effecting the story. There’s really not much that happens, far from being Bangkok Dangerous the movie is far more … Bangkok Bland. The biggest issue with the film is that there’s nothing new here, it’s the same story we’ve seen hundreds of times before and as a result there’s simply no tension. We know how the film will play out: we know that Joe will be smitten by a local lady, we know that the wise-cracking street urchin will become Joe’s side kick (who despite being trained as an assassin doesn’t actually kill anyone), and we know that Joe will seek redemption in the final act. It’s an exercise in cliche and painting-by-numbers, really not worth your time.Oh, and his hair is just terrible!1.5 stars

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